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February 20, 2009


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Y'know, sometimes complete honesty is over-rated, and this was sure one of those times! You played that one exactly right, ZenMama! But you might want to follow up with your son in a day or two and talk about WHY it was okay to be less than honest in that situation -- and helping him learn to differentiate what's okay and what's not. Being untruthful is a slippery slope, and it's hard to learn where the fine line that separate Absolute Truth from Acceptable Untruth is.

I don't think you should feel guilty that you didn't step in during Monkey in the Middle. Your son will have to learn ways to deal with situations like that, and it needed the other mom to be the one to step in... and I'm glad she did! But you would have been Overly Protective Mom to the Alpha kid, aggravating the situation for your son. Maybe you could help your son learn to be more specific in setting up play time with other kids -- "Hey, I need to work on my catching skills -- wanna play catch at the park this afternoon?" helps set the expectation that they're going to play catch, not Monkey in the Middle (which I'm assuming is pretty much what we called Keep Away in my day, back in the Dark Ages!).


I agree with LarkLady, ZenMama. You played your part perfectly! It is so hard to watch our kids struggle but some of it they have to work out for themselves. Bravo that the other mom stepped up and helped the situation, she needed to. There are a lot of Alpha boys, or girls for that matter, out there and we have to learn to deal with them. But we don't have to allow them to walk all over us. A tough lesson to teach a kid and I know because it's one I am still trying to master. Give your son a big hug tonight, you both deserve it.

Zen Mama Wannabe

To step in or not step in - tis quite the question. I don't have it figured out, but I guess it is a *learn as you go* kind of thing. I'm good with the learning, but it sure is much more exhausting than I ever thought it would be!


Nicely done--both the blog and how you handled the situation. Funny how "play" imitates life--sooner or later we all find ourselves as the Monkey in a real life game. Mothers like you help their children develop the skills required to get out of the middle.


So true soloranger! We are all Monkeys once in's how we get out of the middle that counts.

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