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January 08, 2009


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Oh yes, THOSE words hurt! I remember them all too well. Perhaps it will help you, just a little, to know that your daughter is going through a very normal phase. Not all children go through this one... but it's not unusual. Fortunately for me, only one of my kids exhibited this particular behavior.

That daughter, now 18, spent the Christmas and New Year holidays with her birth-mother and family. That family includes Mom, Dad, Son (my daughter's half-brother) -- and 2 cousins, age 12 and 4, who recently lost their parents and have come to live with their aunt. The 4-year-old girl is going through the same phase as your daughter, and my daughter was shocked to be on the receiving end of THOSE words.

And while I sympathized with her pain -- and she's just a cousin, not aunt or parent -- a very small piece of me felt avenged... since this is the daughter that used those very same words on me well over a decade ago. She doesn't remember that, of course, and was shocked to learn that she too raked us over the emotional coals as a small child.

Your son is very wise! His advice is perhaps impractical -- it's terribly difficult to NOT take it personally when it's directed at you. But it's also wise advice.

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